Love is patient. Love is kind. But is just love enough to offer in a relationship?
In my recent dating adventure (and I call it an adventure because there’s always something new I learn every time I meet a potential suitor), I asked my date what he had to offer. “I may not be financially rich, but I can offer love,” he replied.
His response left me wondering whether love alone is enough to sustain a relationship. What about financial stability or the other qualities I desire in my suitor?
I decided to ask the expert on relationships and dating, Dr. Laura Berman, for her opinion.
For the last three decades, Dr. Berman has dedicated herself to helping people learn how to love and be loved better through couples’ counseling and intensive workshops, such as her recent sold-out workshop, “Quantum Love.” She has also appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Network and “The Dr. Oz Show” talking about this very topic.
Is just love enough to sustain a relationship?
Of course! While there is nothing wrong with having specific lifestyle goals and working to
achieve that level of financial comfort (and desiring a partner to do the same), love is what
we were made for. It is our purpose here. And I firmly believe that we are here to learn how to love better, and how to remove the barriers we have placed between us and love.
In my previous three-year relationship, I was with a man who was missing some of the qualities I desired. I felt I was settling and not fully fulfilled. Why is that not a good thing to do?
Compromise is part of any healthy relationship, but settling is not. You have the right to expect fulfilling love and attention from your partner, and my book, “Quantum Love,” can show you many ways to achieve that. Readers can expect to learn how to truly be powerful when it comes to creating the love lives they desire. You are pure energy with pure potential, and you are creating your own reality, attracting experiences and people into your world. Many people are unaware of how these energetic principles work, or how they can harness their energy to create deep fulfillment and happiness in their bedrooms and beyond. With “Quantum Love,” I take these seemingly complex ideas and break them down into terms everyone can understand and apply immediately to their own lives.
But, at the end of the day, it can also show you how to leave toxic situations and attract better mates, if your current relationship is not healthy or desirable for you.
Now that online dating is the go-to place to find love, what should singles be asking during initial conversations?
I would encourage singles to think less about what they’re asking and more about what they’re saying. What are you showing to potential partners? How open and vulnerable are you being? Be authentic about who you really are and put forth the energy and qualities you want to find in a spouse, and you will be much more likely to attract that person to you.
Don’t worry about appearing flawless or putting forth a good persona. That isn’t going to attract authentic connection and a partner who will meet your heart’s desire. Be real, be present, and be brave: In doing so, you will attract the person who is meant for you, rather than people just aiming for shallow connections or hookups.
BELLA’s tagline is “Beauty As De ned by You.” How do you define beauty?
Beauty to me is when a woman is not afraid to be vulnerable, when she is brave enough to be herself and embrace her identity—“flaws” and all. When I had breast cancer and lost my hair, I had to learn to love the new woman in the mirror and face the world without a security blanket. I had to let myself be broken open like a caterpillar coming out of a chrysalis. It was terrifying, but that experience taught me the true meaning of vulnerability and authenticity…and beauty.
So what’s my verdict on love? Although love may be enough to make a relationship sustainable, I should not settle for not having the other qualities I desire from a potential suitor. Therefore, my dating adventure continues.