Long-Lasting Love :Looking for a Life Partner? Focus on These Qualities.

When looking for a life partner, it’s essential to focus on more than just physical attraction and chemistry. Most singles on dating apps seem to write about the importance of someone’s height, age, weight, or movie preferences. While you’d like to find someone you’re attracted to, other qualities are essential for a long-term, lasting relationship.

Here are some of the things to look for in a potential partner.

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Good Character

My grandfather, General Carlos Fernando Oanes, was a five-star general in the Philippine army who raised 12 children. He was a man who drilled into all of his children, specifically my dad—the family’s eldest child—the importance of maintaining exceptional character. That meant you led with honesty, integrity, loyalty, and respect.

My “Lolo” commanded respect when he walked into any room. He held his head high because he knew people viewed him as a man with solid moral values, a family man who worked hard to raise respectful children.

There was a sense of pride in his name, and I remember my late father reminding my brothers and me to be the kind of people whose actions showed good character.

As a husband, my Lolo was fiercely loyal and protective. I imagine raising 12 children in the time they did in a third-world country was not easy for my grandparents. I heard countless stories about how his character helped foster happiness in their home and respect in his career. He was madly in love with his wife, my grandmother Payapa, whose character was equally impeccable. Someone with good character is a trait I would advise my clients to look for when seeking a life partner.

High EQ (Emotional Intelligence)

Emotional intelligence is a highly sought-after skill that helps you connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you inside your relationship. It can also be an essential part of building stronger relationships at home, in school, and in career success.

The capacity for empathy and the ability to talk about emotions healthily are components of emotional intelligence. EQ describes our awareness of how we feel and the ability to control those feelings appropriately; it’s the power that enables you to understand your partner’s perspectives to better connect with them on an empathetic level.

The best partnerships thrive not only because they share common goals, but also by having strong relationships based upon mutual understanding and open communication. The ability to discuss sensitive topics freely without fear or coercion is the type of openheartedness that creates true loyalty from each person.

Jackie Minksy, founder of Divine PR, is a busy mompreneur who is getting ready to start dating and attract her ideal partner after five years of being single.

I’m seeking a heart-led leader who will guide others from his heart at work and us in our home. He has masculine solid energy that honors, respects, and brings out my femininity. He’s not intimidated by my success; he celebrates it. Together we are driven by impact over income.

Great Communication Skills:

Couples who communicate well are more likely to have a happy and successful relationship. If you can’t share your intimate thoughts with your partner, resolving conflicts and keeping the relationship strong will be difficult.

According to “The Gottman Institute,” there are “Four Deadly Horsemen” in your relationship to look out for that are considered unhealthy and destructive communication traits for your marriage: contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and defensiveness.

Continuing to use those communication styles in your partnership will lead to inevitable breakdown of your relationships. You should look for someone who practices healthier ways to communicate their needs, wants, and concerns.

Financial Stability and Accountability

Many marriages and relationship breakdowns result from money problems and conflict with their money mindset. You and your partner must share the same values and goals in life, including your views on money. It will make it easier to connect deeply and build a strong foundation for the relationship when your views on money and finances are aligned. If you find yourself in a relationship in which your money views differ drastically, you’ll be stressed, upset, and disconnected.

Kristina Shea, founder of BlueSkys Life + Beauty, is twice widowed, and has experienced a few upsetting financial surprises in some of her past partnerships. She discovered one partner had addiction issues and a gambling problem, which he hid from her. She had not asked the appropriate questions about money and finances dating as a young person. As a homeowner, business owner, and single parent, meeting someone who understands and appreciates the importance of financial stability is a must.

As a successful entrepreneur who’s about to celebrate my 50th birthday, I want someone as focused on their emotional, financial, and physical fitness as I am. I want to build an empire together in a healthy relationship and be sure we share similar values and goals for our future.

These are just some of the qualities to look for in a potential life partner. If you focus on finding someone who has these qualities, you’ll be well on your way to finding lasting love.


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