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The Truth Is You Can’t Have It All: The Bull$#!+ Of Busy

After the third or fourth week of shelter in place across the nation and the world, if you had not started to reflect on how you were spending your time, you might as well have been living under a rock.

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Have you ever wondered?

  1. How our worth depends on how much we do?
  2. How we have come to admire sleep deprived workaholics?
  3. How bad we feel when we say no to party invitations?
  4. How guilty we feel if we’re not available to take someone’s call?
  5. How we think inaction is laziness?
  6. How we believe multitasking is the answer to our productivity?
  7. How we believe that self-care is selfish?

It’s fair to say that we’ve bought into the idea that busy all the time is a good thing. We’ve also bought into the idea that when we’re not busy, we should be socializing or catching up on the news. Well, I call bullshit!

If this pandemic has taught us anything about time is that we certainly have it. Plenty of it. How we spend it, well, there’s that.

One of the biggest problems we have is not that we don’t do enough. Our biggest problem you may be wondering? It is that we do too much of the wrong things.

Did you know that being busy actually makes you less productive? Multitasking actually slows you down. It 100% increases the chances of mistakes. It tricks us into thinking we’re getting more done, but our brains aren’t physically capable of of doing more than one thing -well- at a time.

The truth is: You can’t have it all. The truth also is that every decision you make has an opportunity cost.

When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to several others. Whenever you hear someone say that you can have it all, know that they are lying. They are almost certainly trying to sell you something.

In the end, we need to choose what matters most to us, and own that. Because when we attempt to be everything, we ultimately end up being nothing. And that internal conflict is hell.

And to be clear, yes, you can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.


BELLA Magazine is a national subscription- and newsstand-based lifestyle publication offering a curated guide to fashion, beauty, health, philanthropy, arts and culture, cuisine, celebrities, and entertainment.

At BELLA, we spotlight the ideal that Beauty is Defined by You!

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